Chris Atley | All-anxiety or All-star??
Success Coach for Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses
Success Coach for Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses
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All-anxiety or All-star??

 

All-anxiety or All-star??

Posted by admin in Articles 12 Jun 2017

Anyone else feeling the last couple of weeks of school??!! It always amazes me just how draining this can be, even though I know each year it’s coming! Here in the US we have something extra on daily for about 3 weeks! Jude also just made the All-Star baseball team too, which is fantastic, and always ad’s in another layer of activity with practices being every evening. He had this opportunity last year too, and so again we knew the drill. What I’m realizing though, is sometimes it doesn’t matter how prepared we are or how many systems we have in place, we’re still going to feel the weight of the extra activates, and that’s okay. Let’s all cut ourselves a break, know we’re doing the best we can, and our best may not be our ultimate best and that’s okay too. Compassion comes tome mind. This is such a great reminder for us to slow down….not everything needs to be done right now or right away – funny how we get into that mindset the busier we are right??!! It’s definitely a fear / ego trap, and basically coming from a place of lack (not enough time, etc.) It will all get done at the right time…ahh…breathe…In times of extreme “busy-ness”, look at doing the absolute minimum and do not for any reason, add more to your plate! The time (and energy) will come when it makes sense to add in more. See where you can add in some extra self-care time too 🙂 It’s a saving grace.

 

Back to Jude…

 

Here is a picture of Jude at his first practice last weekend. He found out the night before he made the team and has been so excited ever since! This didn’t come without paying a bit of a price though…there was anxiety, disappointment and an element of letting go too. Read on to learn how these lessons show-up for us too, in business and life and how we can move through them and be our own All-star!

 

On Saturday afternoon / evening, Jude (10 yrs old), was the most anxious I’ve ever seen him. He is typically a pretty laid back kid and doesn’t worry too much about things. I always joke that he is the ultimate manifestor, because everything he wants ”seems” to come true. It’s pretty cool to see someone who doesn’t have any inhibitions and doesn’t let his “mind” get in the way of creating his dreams. But on Saturday he was filled with anxiety on whether or not he made the All-star team for baseball. In our Little League, the kids are nominated a few weeks in advance, and then one of the coaches drops off a spirit pack on the final play off day of the season. Jude had asked one of the players on his team that day when the bags were going to be dropped off, as she had the inside scoop with her dad coaching one of the All-Star teams. She told him 4 pm. So…from about 3:30 pm to 9 pm, he went through a gamut of emotions!

 

First he was so anxious he just had to get the feeling out of his body and couldn’t sit still. He went and played basketball to take his mind off it. Next he decided it made sense to go on a bike ride to ride by the others kids’ houses in the neighbourhood who he knew would be on the team for sure to see if there bags arrived! Jay and I kinda sat there in awe watching him.

 

At about 6pm we decided to get dinner and a movie going, but he was too anxious to sit still. Thankfully I was able to take him through an exercise that helped him to release it a little bit. My clients reading this will know the one I’m talking about – the ‘feel your feelings” exercise as I call it 🙂

 

After another couple of hours, after some more analyzing on when the pack came last year, and whether or not the coach just left it or came to the door, the disappointment set in. I just figured if it wasn’t there by 9, it likely wasn’t coming due to it getting to be too late. Oops…found out the next day some kids got theirs after 11!! We then worked through disappointment, as he thought he didn’t make it.

 

So at this point, I’m wondering if it was the biggest parenting fail ever to have told him he was nominated in the first place, as he could have avoided all of this anxiety!! I soon realized that we can’t protect our kids from feeling bad and I wanted him to know he had been recognized for his hard work. At 8:30 pm he was disappointed and started to let it go.

 

AND THEN…at the very end of the night he went to check outside one more time before going to bed and low and behold the spirit pack was THERE!!!

 

What’s interesting is that as soon as he let it go, the bag showed up. Hmm…ever noticed when we cling to things so tightly we actually push away what we want? But when we let go and trust essentially, it shows-up? Like almost instantly??

 

What I learned from this is that it’s okay for our kids to feel anxious, disappointed and any other heavy emotion they have going on. It’s working through this stuff where they become more resourceful and able to learn the life skills that will help them thrive in life.

 

It’s the same for us. We’re not always going to feel great. We have lessons to learn, and wounds to heal. The more we can allow ourselves to feel, the more we can move through the blocks preventing us from creating more love and abundance in ALL areas of life. It’s not about getting rid of the fear entirely, it’s about seeing it for what it is, learning the lesson, allowing the healing and then moving forward. We would not know how to feel good if we never felt bad. Like the “busy-ness” I have been experiencing. Where do I need to learn compassion for myself so that I can invite more of that in? It’s all a learning and a healing. We would never experience a miracle if we didn’t have a contrast. Now that is a lesson worth feeling for <3

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