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Let’s talk resistance for a minute ?
I am sooo excited for today – I am taking Level 3 in Reiki! I am looking forward to opening up to the ethers even more and my teacher is adding in some cool additions that sound amazing! I started working with her in-person back when I lived in Burlington, Ontario (Canada). She is now in London, England and myself in San Diego, California, and I am thrilled she is now doing virtual trainings! FUN!!
So let’s talk about the opposite of FUN for a sec.
FEAR.
It is what is going on deep down under resistance.
It can come across in clients as being “uncoachable” and closed-minded…
But it’s really just a deep resistance coming from fear.
And you CANNOT talk them out of it.
Like you’ve probably experienced yourself, analyzing until the cows come home usually doesn’t help us get anywhere… it usually just leads to more analyzing…
You’re not addressing the problem on the level it’s at either. talking about strategy from this place WILL NOT help someone move forward.
They will get frustrated…. you will get frustrated… and it just won’t be super empowering for anyone…
So what can you do instead?
Realize this is a belief level issue (a story they have bought into around fear).
So take them through an exercise to help them shift their belief.
What is the feeling coming up, the fear associated with it, and the lesson to be learned?
Because what we resists persists, and the reaction we’re experiencing is coming up for a reason.
My kids love to belt out “TRIGGERED” when they me, I mean someone else, in reaction mode! Man are these youngsters super aware!
All kidding aside, I have found time line therapy to be super helpful in digging out where the feeling behind the reaction stemmed from.
From there you can help them create new empowered beliefs that support the real outcome they are wanting to achieve.
And IF they resist your efforts in helping them, you may need to ask them if they are wanting to resolve the issue, and if this can help would they like to try?
They still have free will and need to want the change for themselves. If you can help them chunk back up to their bigger vision that can help ?
Happy Shifting!
Chris, xox
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles is all about letting go of judgement – of ourselves and others – on a deeper level. We hope you enjoy it ?
The time has come ??
I am soooo excited to show you our brand new website AND focus!!!
I resisted focusing solely on coaching coaches for years – what about the rest of the business owners?
But what I didn’t realize – was how deeply fulfilling it would be to help other coaches have the tools to transform other people’s lives – it’s the most amazing ripple effect!!
I am now solely showing other professionals how to add in high-end coaching & existing coaches how to scale their businesses! I am also certifying them in my process that has helped so many other entrepreneurs, and giving them a complete coaching business in a box for them to duplicate and replicate!
My ❤️ is full.
Resistance can be a funny thing… we tell ourselves ALL kinds of stories to keep us stuck and not taking the action.
And that’s okay.
It just means we have a few more lessons to learn, to have that shift in perspective that will enable us to receive the opportunities right there for us…
So do a little check-in… what are you resisting, and then what is the lesson? Try zooming out and looking down on the situation… what is it here to teach you?
* And side note…even though there is a slightly new focus, everything I teach and share is about stepping into the best version of yourself so that you can make empowered decisions and create whatever it is you’re wanting.
So I hope you will be inspired to hang around ??♀️
I also won’t be offering as much coaching personally, but we are now creating an amazing community of coaches who are certified in our process, and if you would like help finding a coach please reach out ?
Have an amazing weekend!
~ Chris xo
P.S. There is a new Self-care Masterclass and also a Mastercoach Training on the website if you are looking for additional resources ?
What Shonda Rhimes says about working & kids ?
We got into business to have the freedom we were craving right? To work when we want, with whom we want and where we want? And for many of us the desire to raise a family and be there for our kids!
BUT…something happens when we try to juggle BOTH!
The Mom guilt seeps in when we’re working and the dreamer drive when we’re parenting…
The choice on which to focus leaving us never quite measuring up in either…
I was listening to an interview with Shonda Rhimes the other day…and she said she is always choosing…
Accepting an award means she’s missing her child’s swim meet, and being at the swim meet means she’s missing something at work…
There is always going to be a juggle because we want BOTH!
And I truly believe we can have both if we tune into what works for us and how we want to do things.
I remember a mentor telling me once if I wanted to hit my big goals it meant I had to be willing to work into the evenings, get a nanny for the kids, and do whatever it took.
While there is something to be said about putting in the time, this also felt like a really masculine way of doing things. Grind it out, work all hours, and do not STOP!
Yikes.
I did do it for a bit and even had a live-in nanny…it was great for awhile…but then I started thinking, well why did I have kids then ??♀️
Around the same time I started going to a monthly women’s group filled with successful Mompreneurs, and the advice was the opposite.
Be there for your kids, enjoy them now.
And there’s no ill will toward the men in the world, but like anything in life that we’re trying to sort out or navigate through, we need to find role models who are relatable and understand our own unique challenges. Like going through grief. It can be hard to talk to people who haven’t suffered a loss.
What this enabled me to do was tune in for myself. And as always I landed right in the middle.
I love driving my kids to their activities – careful what you ask for as holy moly did we double down on the sports now that things are opening back up ? Do I still get overwhelmed, yes. But I’ve become more self-aware and I catch it pretty quickly and know it just involves a conscious check-in on my own needs. Do I need to go to every single game – no it’s okay to take a break if even a self-care break never mind to work!
What I’ve discovered is that I like to have support around the house versus caring for the kids. Mind you my kids are older, and I’ve had every kind of support going over the years; live in nanny, part-time nanny, after school care, babysitters, etc. AND that’s the great thing about running our own businesses – we can do it in a way that works for us and it can also CHANGE! As long as we’re consciously tuning in we will always make the right choice at the time.
And I will say this. I love to work. I love my business and my clients, and I love creating. This brings me immense joy. And it’s okay to have joy outside of our kids. When we’re happy, they are happy.
And do we need to put in the time to achieve our goals?
Of course.
But I can tell you, when we’re on-purpose and doing what we love, results flow from this place and not from fear of not enough time. Where opportunities and ideas truly “magically” appear and where our cup is overflowing with enough love for ourselves, our businesses AND our kids.
THAT is the sweet spot ?
So how does this look for YOU? Without judgement, and tuning in just for you…because this is going to look different for everyone and in different seasons of your life ?
Chris, xo
Why bother with personal development work?
Digging out the mental cobwebs can be tough work right? It forces us to look at some uncomfortable things…why we do what we do…why we believe what we believe…
It literally disrupts our paradigm…
I remember when I first started studying how our thoughts create our reality…
I had just lost my Dad unexpectedly, was asking the meaning of life AND then started learning about angels and mediums ?
Talk about a disruption in beliefs.
We were in the Azores on a vacation and the thought of us living on beyond this physical world, was freeing but terrifying at the same time.
And that’s what happens, when the belief systems we’ve clung to our whole lives are disrupted…
It’s scary to change and let go. Our whole lives are built on these beliefs.
EVEN if our freedom lies on the other side.
And that’s just it.
That’s why it’s worth it.
Because we can be free from the limits holding us back.
If we can learn those limits…
…we can UNLEARN them too.
Can I get a “heck yes “??!! ?
In our latest podcast episode we discuss how we came to study A Course in Miracles, what makes it so powerful for ALL of us (it’s non-denominational), and WHY we say read it even though it’s super wordy and daunting!
I hope it brings you the peace it brings us ?
Because when we fill up with joy and peace, it’s reflected in our external world in the most amazing ways!
Have a great weekend!
Chris, xo
What if you are doing someone a dis-service
First off I have to tell you about an amazing book I just learned about! Apart from the title, it IS for men and women…
“The Amazing Development of Men”, by Alison A. Armstrong.
I kind of feel like it’s the missing info. that we all need to know about for being in a relationship or raising boys. AND I’m ecstatic to learn that this author has also created a book about women too! I was hoping!
I think this information should be taught to all young people! I’m all about equal rights and opportunities, but the reality is that men and women are different, and why not explore and learn about our differences so that we can best support one another? Just as we read parenting books to support our kids 🙂
But…
I have to admit, when my friend first told me about it, I thought “why are you just telling me about this now??” I needed this like yesterday.
And I knew the answer.
Because she’s not as boisterous as I am when she finds a great new resource!
Shouting from the roof tops and being all you-must-read-this-now about it!
Or maybe it wasn’t my time to read it…??♀️
But…
It got me thinking…
How often do we hold back on sharing what we know will help people?
Afraid of being bossy or know-it-all-sy…
It’s rude to be a know-it-all after all…
But what if what we know is truly going to help someone?
What if by you holding back you’re actually doing someone a dis-service?
Like they’ll actually feel slighted if you don’t share with them?
Not what most of us have been taught I know…
But people want to know what you know!
They want to hear from you!
You have been through a lot, fought many battles, and have much to share.
So please, for the sake of that person who needs to hear what you know…
SHARE!
In whatever way feels right for you.
You don’t have to do it an over-the-top-sharesy sort of way like me ??♀️
The world needs your light ?
Much Love this weekend and always,
Chris xo
To connect or not to connect that is the question…?
We always have a choice to tune in and listen to the universal guidance that is inside all of us at any given time. It’s the consciousness that connects us, and there are many words to describe it: intuition, instincts, divine guidance, source energy, universal truth, and so on.
In our latest podcast we announce a special new sponsor ?
A friend of ours in town has started a breath work movement. He is a successful chiropractor, and has now expanded into this area. He has studied directly with Wim Hof, and has a whole plethora of online classes. I have been fortunate enough to attend in-person several times, and I can tell you this: I have been practicing yoga and meditation for over 15 years, and I have never EVER gone as deep as I did in this class!!!
AT one point I stopped thinking – truly imagine that!!! – and after realizing it, I then thought, this is what it’s like to go beyond our thoughts! The energy and consciousness we’re all apart of is just energy and space, and has no thoughts!
And yes my 11-year-old daughter thinks I’m crazy! ?
But truly it was the most amazing experience! I loved it so much that I have gifted his monthly membership to my clients and also included it as a bonus in my new course.
You can tune into this week’s episode and receive the mind-altering special they are extending to our listeners! Yay!!
But what’s even crazier is how we finalized the sponsorship to begin with.
We had been trying to connect by phone and busy schedules kept getting in the way…I was out walking the dog (all my best brainstorms come in this way), when we were supposed to connect, and I suddenly “remembered” that his amazing wife was hosting a yoga class that I had been wanting to try. My ego kept telling me I had too much to do. My wiser self-kept saying “you slowing down is your f*$%n’ super power (she tends to swear!)
So I texted her and there was room in the class ??♀️
I then thought, that’s perfect I can go a few minutes early to talk to my friend.
That worked perfectly for him and so I rode my bike over – how FUNNNNNN!!!!!
The three of us ended up having THE MOST amazing conversation!!
And what I love is how full circle this has come – he used to help me write my speaking engagements for chiropractors and here we are in this completely new realm…
BUT the best part of this day…
No one else showed-up for the yoga class! Which never happens and so I had a private class on their back deck that looks like something out of Bali all to myself!!!! It completely filled me up mentally, physically & spiritually…
Ahh…
I hope you will check them out for their online breathing classes – which are great for those who don’t love yoga AND for those who do!!
So follow that guidance, it never lies…
Namaste and have a beautiful weekend,
Chris, xo
There’s a fine line between gratitude and guilt…
I was chatting with my Mom the other day and had a MASSIVE realization!! We have some great inspired conversations!!
What I realized is it truly is a fine line between being grateful for what you have and feeling guilty for wanting more…?
On the one hand, we want to be grateful for everything we have. When we’re truly grateful, not just saying we are, but truly be-ing and feel-ing thankful, we put this energy out.
Which in turn comes back. When we’re thankful we see and attract more in our lives to be thankful for. We create from a place of joy and love, and this creates more of just that.
But…
It can be a slippery slope moving from being grateful to then asking for more…
That can land us right in “settleville” settling for less than we can absolutely create because we feel “guilty” for wanting more, and that it means we aren’t grateful for we have…
And therein lies the problem.
And so I went “Course in Miracles” on it, as I like to call it when I apply the Course to something…and this one is BIG!!!
ALL JUDGMENT IS THE EGO’S HANDY WORK.
Bolding that because it’s that important!!
AND it’s the judgment that creates guilt…
Think about it for a second…if you’re grateful, you’re in a state of bliss, love and joy, and you just naturally create your hearts desires from that place. There is no judgment, and therefore no guilt. You’re just having fun creating!
If you slip into guilt or feeling “not grateful” enough…you have taken the ego’s bait EVEN if it sounds noble!!!
It knows exactly how to get you to stop, and any hook it can offer you to make you feel like not a good person you will avoid at all costs.
And so you settle.
Settling meaning you don’t create your hearts desires, whatever they are for you. You listen to all of the reasons that it’s bad to be, do or have __.
So let’s shine a light on this, see it for what it is, and go back to being, feeling, and gratefully creating ❤️
Wishing you a beautiful weekend,
– Chris, xo
P.S. And for those of you wanting to go a “Course in Miracles” on this even more deeply, we talk about it during our latest podcast where we discuss the art of becoming aware of whether you are being driven by fear or inspiration, the fine line between gratitude and guilt in asking for what you want, and how to keep this life-changing observation at the forefront of your mind even when you are faced with doubters.
5 Ways You’re not Standing in Your Power ??♀️
Hey there! Standing in our power is key for creating an empowered business and life ?
Giving away our power traces back to not feeling good enough.
That darn ego again – the part of us that is always comparing ourselves to others and feeling less then, or lacking in some way, shape or form.
Here are 5 ways to tell if you are giving your power away in business specifically, and what to do to shift it.
- You let the client decide what package is best for them. You are giving your client a bunch of choices and letting them decide what is best for them. It’s imperative to show-up as the expert you are during the sales process. The people coming to you are coming to you for a reason. Because YOU can help them and have the answer to their solution. They are counting on you to guide them. Offer the solution that will help them the most ?
- You allow the client to barter on your rates. This is a tough one. If you don’t have a lot of clients, it can be easy to talk yourself into taking less or even doing an exchange. BUT if you stand firm in your value, you will stop attracting these situations, learn the lesson, and start attracting a higher caliber of client, meaning one who sees and appreciates your value. Stay firm and you will have this shift.
- You give too much. Ahh…I am guilty of this one too. We want to help but not in a way that gives away our power. Check-in, are you giving because you feel like you have to in order to prove your value? Or is it because you are genuinely wanting to help and give a little extra? Just be careful because the ego can talk us into this being a “good deed” but can still be a disguise for not feeling good enough deep down. One is about lack and the other about extending generosity.
- You betray yourself and the boundaries you’ve set. You know you need to set boundaries and have even mapped them out, but then go back on your word to yourself. This causes resentment and burn out AND strengthens feelings of “not good enough” because now you haven’t honoured your commitments to yourself.
- You seek reassurance from others instead of tuning in. There is a fine line between getting “reassurance” and getting an “objective” opinion. The former being about second guessing yourself and looking for reassurance to value yourself and your ideas. The latter being about brainstorming and gathering information, while staying neutral and grounded in your self-worth.
Ahh okay…what to do to shift it?
Having the awareness on how it shows up might be enough. Start catching it and noticing it, and then make a different conscious choice instead.
Try saying, if I was valuing myself and my worth, what would I do here instead?
Start “acting as if” you do until you just do ❤️
Do some deeper work and check-in on why you are good enough as you are, regardless of external accomplishments and achievements.
Affirm your worth daily, and again make decisions from this place.
Wishing you a beautiful weekend,
Chris xoxo
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles was posted Thursday. We add a little humour and discuss how this is a complete state-changer & ego-squasher!!
That time I was scared on social media…
Okay who doesn’t get nervous putting themselves out on social media, right?!
I’ve been speaking and doing live trainings for years both on and offline, and I STILL get nervous!
I think getting a little nervous is good though. It means we care about doing a good job. One of mentors used to say, “when you get nervous think of service”, and that has stayed with me ?
BUT… there can be an entirely different type of nervousness…
FEAR.
It’s that part that we need to send a little extra TLC to and move through…
I call this “getting in your head”.
When you start worrying. Worrying about what other people are thinking about you, which then causes you to doubt what the heck you’re even talking about.
For me this tends to pop up when I’m in front of people outside of my entrepreneurial community.
I create some story that tells me so and so thinks this about me and blah, blah, blah. It has 100% stopped me in the past.
This my friends is the ego. The part that wants us to judge ourselves and others. That wants to tell us we’re never good enough and asks who am I to do ______.
I can now recognize when it starts to pop up and I consciously choose not to not listen, make myself do it anyway, and then I’m reminded why I’m doing it to begin with and that it’s all about helping other people.
Love will trump fear every time.
But it can still creep in and we just have to be aware of the ego’s ludicrousness. Because here’s the thing, it wants us to get derailed and go down a doubt spiral. This is super prevalent when we’re in business for ourselves because growing a business means putting ourselves out there.
So a little while ago I was doing a live on Instagram, and I saw a friend from high school pop up as a viewer. I immediately got nervous and forgot what I was talking about. Thankfully I have practice in this (it’s all it takes), and I was able to shift gears and get back on track quickly.
BUT… I kept thinking OMG what is HE thinking about this?? He doesn’t know what I do and is he going to think I’m crazy?
LOL.
This happens to ALL of us.
And the funny thing about all of this is that the “story” I made up in my head wasn’t even true.
He reached out later and because of what I shared asked if me and my family wanted to be on a t.v. show ?
THE EGO LIES!!!!!!
Do not believe it’s B.S.
How can we possibly know what someone else is thinking?
And when we’re coming from fear (ego), we’re never going to see it clearly anyway.
When we’re connected to something bigger than us we can at least see the truth in situations.
So my friend, what story is the ego having you believe that is causing you to make a limiting choice?
See it for what it is… just a story… and make yourself take action anyway…
Much Love,
~ Chris xox
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles dropped this week… if you’re wanting to take a deeper dive into all things ego and how it loves to sink its teeth into problems, no matter the size, then tune in this weekend for sure ?
P.P.S. I’m back to connecting with you on Saturdays! I have been sending my notes out for YEARS on Saturdays and changed it up after thinking I try myself not to look at email over the weekends… BUT I do read and listen to things that are inspiring to me, and I hope these notes are a source of that for you. Many of you have told me you look forward to reading these on Saturday mornings. And so I hear you ❤️
What’s on your bucket list??
I wanted to make sure to still send you a little inspiration this week after a full week of connecting around my new course!
It was an amazing 10-days of live trainings, answering questions, and putting the final touches on my course. And I do have to say my most favourite part of this process and what I am bringing into this year with me is CONNECTION.
I absolutely loved connecting with new and familiar faces ? It’s connecting with others that truly lights me up, and I am finding new ways to do this online. Social media used to be a chore for me if I’m being honest – a should. I am now truly loving it and the opportunity to develop deeper connections with people all around the world. Last week I was chatting with someone in Ireland! How fun!
It wasn’t until I started writing this note to you that I realized CONNECTION will be my word for this year. I love choosing a word that represents what I want to strengthen. Past words have included saying YES to life’s opportunities, having more FUN, giving and receiving more LOVE, SURRENDER and letting go, and last year being PROGRESS. Making progress in all areas of my life, and I’m happy to say I did just that.
The issue with New Year’s resolutions is that many people put too much pressure on themselves to FIX something. But you’re not broken. You are loved, lovable and ENOUGH just as you are.
To me it’s more about creating more of how we want to FEEL so that we can be truly living a life we love. We don’t have to wait for external things around us to come to fruition to feel that way.
It’s definitely okay to set goals because they drive us forward and help us grow into who we need to become in order to achieve our bigger dreams.
But at the same time check-in on those goals. What is the feeling they will ultimately create for you? And then look at what you can do now to generate that feeling every day…or maybe it’s more around something you need to let go of in order to feel more_____.
We don’t have to wait to feel those feelings, we can do it NOW. And feeling them now will actually lead to what we’re wanting to create faster.
Also, check in on what you’re wanting to create from the place of intention. Are your intentions about expansion and creating joyful experiences or are they around shoulds? We want to ditch those, although some goals might feel like a should at first – like working out – but they lead to more happiness ultimately because we have more energy to do what we’re wanting. On that note I would truly find workouts that you love and ditch the shoulds there too!
So, what is on your bucket list this year and why?
We had the opportunity to go “desert” camping before Christmas – I didn’t even now it was a thing! It was to go dirt biking and ride in a side-by-side ride (like a big race cart for the sand!). My son Jude had been begging us to try dirt biking, so when this came up he said, “please can we go, it’s on my bucket list”!!
LOL at 14 he has a bucket list and I of course LOVE that!! He also knows there’s no way I’ll say no to a good bucket list item ?
So here he is!!!
And I have to say, we had the BEST time. The desert was beautiful – just 2 hours from San Diego – and it’s all wide open sand and mountains AND there was no one in sight! My daughter and I arrived later, and as we pulled up we were greeted by the guys in the side-by-side. They needed to take us to the camping spot because there was no way you would find your way to it – it was literally in the middle of nowhere! So the guys hopped out, and us gals enjoyed a ride into the sandy hills as the sun was setting. It was spectacular!!
Often when we say yes to our dreams, it creates the most amazing opportunities for other people too! Thank-you to Jude and our friends for this one ❤️
So do a little investigating into your own dreams and goals, and then take some time to write them out. I love to look back as if we’re a year out, and write then down as though they’ve already happened with most importantly how I FEEL by the end of the year and the shifts I had in the process to get there. From there, include 1-2 goals you’re working on in your gratitude practice every day as if you’ve already achieved them and are grateful.
The subconscious doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality so you may as well get into that vibe now!! Like attracts like.
Happy creating in 2021!
Chris, xo
Blog Fulllwidth
Let’s talk resistance for a minute ?
I am sooo excited for today – I am taking Level 3 in Reiki! I am looking forward to opening up to the ethers even more and my teacher is adding in some cool additions that sound amazing! I started working with her in-person back when I lived in Burlington, Ontario (Canada). She is now in London, England and myself in San Diego, California, and I am thrilled she is now doing virtual trainings! FUN!!
So let’s talk about the opposite of FUN for a sec.
FEAR.
It is what is going on deep down under resistance.
It can come across in clients as being “uncoachable” and closed-minded…
But it’s really just a deep resistance coming from fear.
And you CANNOT talk them out of it.
Like you’ve probably experienced yourself, analyzing until the cows come home usually doesn’t help us get anywhere… it usually just leads to more analyzing…
You’re not addressing the problem on the level it’s at either. talking about strategy from this place WILL NOT help someone move forward.
They will get frustrated…. you will get frustrated… and it just won’t be super empowering for anyone…
So what can you do instead?
Realize this is a belief level issue (a story they have bought into around fear).
So take them through an exercise to help them shift their belief.
What is the feeling coming up, the fear associated with it, and the lesson to be learned?
Because what we resists persists, and the reaction we’re experiencing is coming up for a reason.
My kids love to belt out “TRIGGERED” when they me, I mean someone else, in reaction mode! Man are these youngsters super aware!
All kidding aside, I have found time line therapy to be super helpful in digging out where the feeling behind the reaction stemmed from.
From there you can help them create new empowered beliefs that support the real outcome they are wanting to achieve.
And IF they resist your efforts in helping them, you may need to ask them if they are wanting to resolve the issue, and if this can help would they like to try?
They still have free will and need to want the change for themselves. If you can help them chunk back up to their bigger vision that can help ?
Happy Shifting!
Chris, xox
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles is all about letting go of judgement – of ourselves and others – on a deeper level. We hope you enjoy it ?
The time has come ??
I am soooo excited to show you our brand new website AND focus!!!
I resisted focusing solely on coaching coaches for years – what about the rest of the business owners?
But what I didn’t realize – was how deeply fulfilling it would be to help other coaches have the tools to transform other people’s lives – it’s the most amazing ripple effect!!
I am now solely showing other professionals how to add in high-end coaching & existing coaches how to scale their businesses! I am also certifying them in my process that has helped so many other entrepreneurs, and giving them a complete coaching business in a box for them to duplicate and replicate!
My ❤️ is full.
Resistance can be a funny thing… we tell ourselves ALL kinds of stories to keep us stuck and not taking the action.
And that’s okay.
It just means we have a few more lessons to learn, to have that shift in perspective that will enable us to receive the opportunities right there for us…
So do a little check-in… what are you resisting, and then what is the lesson? Try zooming out and looking down on the situation… what is it here to teach you?
* And side note…even though there is a slightly new focus, everything I teach and share is about stepping into the best version of yourself so that you can make empowered decisions and create whatever it is you’re wanting.
So I hope you will be inspired to hang around ??♀️
I also won’t be offering as much coaching personally, but we are now creating an amazing community of coaches who are certified in our process, and if you would like help finding a coach please reach out ?
Have an amazing weekend!
~ Chris xo
P.S. There is a new Self-care Masterclass and also a Mastercoach Training on the website if you are looking for additional resources ?
What Shonda Rhimes says about working & kids ?
We got into business to have the freedom we were craving right? To work when we want, with whom we want and where we want? And for many of us the desire to raise a family and be there for our kids!
BUT…something happens when we try to juggle BOTH!
The Mom guilt seeps in when we’re working and the dreamer drive when we’re parenting…
The choice on which to focus leaving us never quite measuring up in either…
I was listening to an interview with Shonda Rhimes the other day…and she said she is always choosing…
Accepting an award means she’s missing her child’s swim meet, and being at the swim meet means she’s missing something at work…
There is always going to be a juggle because we want BOTH!
And I truly believe we can have both if we tune into what works for us and how we want to do things.
I remember a mentor telling me once if I wanted to hit my big goals it meant I had to be willing to work into the evenings, get a nanny for the kids, and do whatever it took.
While there is something to be said about putting in the time, this also felt like a really masculine way of doing things. Grind it out, work all hours, and do not STOP!
Yikes.
I did do it for a bit and even had a live-in nanny…it was great for awhile…but then I started thinking, well why did I have kids then ??♀️
Around the same time I started going to a monthly women’s group filled with successful Mompreneurs, and the advice was the opposite.
Be there for your kids, enjoy them now.
And there’s no ill will toward the men in the world, but like anything in life that we’re trying to sort out or navigate through, we need to find role models who are relatable and understand our own unique challenges. Like going through grief. It can be hard to talk to people who haven’t suffered a loss.
What this enabled me to do was tune in for myself. And as always I landed right in the middle.
I love driving my kids to their activities – careful what you ask for as holy moly did we double down on the sports now that things are opening back up ? Do I still get overwhelmed, yes. But I’ve become more self-aware and I catch it pretty quickly and know it just involves a conscious check-in on my own needs. Do I need to go to every single game – no it’s okay to take a break if even a self-care break never mind to work!
What I’ve discovered is that I like to have support around the house versus caring for the kids. Mind you my kids are older, and I’ve had every kind of support going over the years; live in nanny, part-time nanny, after school care, babysitters, etc. AND that’s the great thing about running our own businesses – we can do it in a way that works for us and it can also CHANGE! As long as we’re consciously tuning in we will always make the right choice at the time.
And I will say this. I love to work. I love my business and my clients, and I love creating. This brings me immense joy. And it’s okay to have joy outside of our kids. When we’re happy, they are happy.
And do we need to put in the time to achieve our goals?
Of course.
But I can tell you, when we’re on-purpose and doing what we love, results flow from this place and not from fear of not enough time. Where opportunities and ideas truly “magically” appear and where our cup is overflowing with enough love for ourselves, our businesses AND our kids.
THAT is the sweet spot ?
So how does this look for YOU? Without judgement, and tuning in just for you…because this is going to look different for everyone and in different seasons of your life ?
Chris, xo
Why bother with personal development work?
Digging out the mental cobwebs can be tough work right? It forces us to look at some uncomfortable things…why we do what we do…why we believe what we believe…
It literally disrupts our paradigm…
I remember when I first started studying how our thoughts create our reality…
I had just lost my Dad unexpectedly, was asking the meaning of life AND then started learning about angels and mediums ?
Talk about a disruption in beliefs.
We were in the Azores on a vacation and the thought of us living on beyond this physical world, was freeing but terrifying at the same time.
And that’s what happens, when the belief systems we’ve clung to our whole lives are disrupted…
It’s scary to change and let go. Our whole lives are built on these beliefs.
EVEN if our freedom lies on the other side.
And that’s just it.
That’s why it’s worth it.
Because we can be free from the limits holding us back.
If we can learn those limits…
…we can UNLEARN them too.
Can I get a “heck yes “??!! ?
In our latest podcast episode we discuss how we came to study A Course in Miracles, what makes it so powerful for ALL of us (it’s non-denominational), and WHY we say read it even though it’s super wordy and daunting!
I hope it brings you the peace it brings us ?
Because when we fill up with joy and peace, it’s reflected in our external world in the most amazing ways!
Have a great weekend!
Chris, xo
What if you are doing someone a dis-service
First off I have to tell you about an amazing book I just learned about! Apart from the title, it IS for men and women…
“The Amazing Development of Men”, by Alison A. Armstrong.
I kind of feel like it’s the missing info. that we all need to know about for being in a relationship or raising boys. AND I’m ecstatic to learn that this author has also created a book about women too! I was hoping!
I think this information should be taught to all young people! I’m all about equal rights and opportunities, but the reality is that men and women are different, and why not explore and learn about our differences so that we can best support one another? Just as we read parenting books to support our kids 🙂
But…
I have to admit, when my friend first told me about it, I thought “why are you just telling me about this now??” I needed this like yesterday.
And I knew the answer.
Because she’s not as boisterous as I am when she finds a great new resource!
Shouting from the roof tops and being all you-must-read-this-now about it!
Or maybe it wasn’t my time to read it…??♀️
But…
It got me thinking…
How often do we hold back on sharing what we know will help people?
Afraid of being bossy or know-it-all-sy…
It’s rude to be a know-it-all after all…
But what if what we know is truly going to help someone?
What if by you holding back you’re actually doing someone a dis-service?
Like they’ll actually feel slighted if you don’t share with them?
Not what most of us have been taught I know…
But people want to know what you know!
They want to hear from you!
You have been through a lot, fought many battles, and have much to share.
So please, for the sake of that person who needs to hear what you know…
SHARE!
In whatever way feels right for you.
You don’t have to do it an over-the-top-sharesy sort of way like me ??♀️
The world needs your light ?
Much Love this weekend and always,
Chris xo
To connect or not to connect that is the question…?
We always have a choice to tune in and listen to the universal guidance that is inside all of us at any given time. It’s the consciousness that connects us, and there are many words to describe it: intuition, instincts, divine guidance, source energy, universal truth, and so on.
In our latest podcast we announce a special new sponsor ?
A friend of ours in town has started a breath work movement. He is a successful chiropractor, and has now expanded into this area. He has studied directly with Wim Hof, and has a whole plethora of online classes. I have been fortunate enough to attend in-person several times, and I can tell you this: I have been practicing yoga and meditation for over 15 years, and I have never EVER gone as deep as I did in this class!!!
AT one point I stopped thinking – truly imagine that!!! – and after realizing it, I then thought, this is what it’s like to go beyond our thoughts! The energy and consciousness we’re all apart of is just energy and space, and has no thoughts!
And yes my 11-year-old daughter thinks I’m crazy! ?
But truly it was the most amazing experience! I loved it so much that I have gifted his monthly membership to my clients and also included it as a bonus in my new course.
You can tune into this week’s episode and receive the mind-altering special they are extending to our listeners! Yay!!
But what’s even crazier is how we finalized the sponsorship to begin with.
We had been trying to connect by phone and busy schedules kept getting in the way…I was out walking the dog (all my best brainstorms come in this way), when we were supposed to connect, and I suddenly “remembered” that his amazing wife was hosting a yoga class that I had been wanting to try. My ego kept telling me I had too much to do. My wiser self-kept saying “you slowing down is your f*$%n’ super power (she tends to swear!)
So I texted her and there was room in the class ??♀️
I then thought, that’s perfect I can go a few minutes early to talk to my friend.
That worked perfectly for him and so I rode my bike over – how FUNNNNNN!!!!!
The three of us ended up having THE MOST amazing conversation!!
And what I love is how full circle this has come – he used to help me write my speaking engagements for chiropractors and here we are in this completely new realm…
BUT the best part of this day…
No one else showed-up for the yoga class! Which never happens and so I had a private class on their back deck that looks like something out of Bali all to myself!!!! It completely filled me up mentally, physically & spiritually…
Ahh…
I hope you will check them out for their online breathing classes – which are great for those who don’t love yoga AND for those who do!!
So follow that guidance, it never lies…
Namaste and have a beautiful weekend,
Chris, xo
There’s a fine line between gratitude and guilt…
I was chatting with my Mom the other day and had a MASSIVE realization!! We have some great inspired conversations!!
What I realized is it truly is a fine line between being grateful for what you have and feeling guilty for wanting more…?
On the one hand, we want to be grateful for everything we have. When we’re truly grateful, not just saying we are, but truly be-ing and feel-ing thankful, we put this energy out.
Which in turn comes back. When we’re thankful we see and attract more in our lives to be thankful for. We create from a place of joy and love, and this creates more of just that.
But…
It can be a slippery slope moving from being grateful to then asking for more…
That can land us right in “settleville” settling for less than we can absolutely create because we feel “guilty” for wanting more, and that it means we aren’t grateful for we have…
And therein lies the problem.
And so I went “Course in Miracles” on it, as I like to call it when I apply the Course to something…and this one is BIG!!!
ALL JUDGMENT IS THE EGO’S HANDY WORK.
Bolding that because it’s that important!!
AND it’s the judgment that creates guilt…
Think about it for a second…if you’re grateful, you’re in a state of bliss, love and joy, and you just naturally create your hearts desires from that place. There is no judgment, and therefore no guilt. You’re just having fun creating!
If you slip into guilt or feeling “not grateful” enough…you have taken the ego’s bait EVEN if it sounds noble!!!
It knows exactly how to get you to stop, and any hook it can offer you to make you feel like not a good person you will avoid at all costs.
And so you settle.
Settling meaning you don’t create your hearts desires, whatever they are for you. You listen to all of the reasons that it’s bad to be, do or have __.
So let’s shine a light on this, see it for what it is, and go back to being, feeling, and gratefully creating ❤️
Wishing you a beautiful weekend,
– Chris, xo
P.S. And for those of you wanting to go a “Course in Miracles” on this even more deeply, we talk about it during our latest podcast where we discuss the art of becoming aware of whether you are being driven by fear or inspiration, the fine line between gratitude and guilt in asking for what you want, and how to keep this life-changing observation at the forefront of your mind even when you are faced with doubters.
5 Ways You’re not Standing in Your Power ??♀️
Hey there! Standing in our power is key for creating an empowered business and life ?
Giving away our power traces back to not feeling good enough.
That darn ego again – the part of us that is always comparing ourselves to others and feeling less then, or lacking in some way, shape or form.
Here are 5 ways to tell if you are giving your power away in business specifically, and what to do to shift it.
- You let the client decide what package is best for them. You are giving your client a bunch of choices and letting them decide what is best for them. It’s imperative to show-up as the expert you are during the sales process. The people coming to you are coming to you for a reason. Because YOU can help them and have the answer to their solution. They are counting on you to guide them. Offer the solution that will help them the most ?
- You allow the client to barter on your rates. This is a tough one. If you don’t have a lot of clients, it can be easy to talk yourself into taking less or even doing an exchange. BUT if you stand firm in your value, you will stop attracting these situations, learn the lesson, and start attracting a higher caliber of client, meaning one who sees and appreciates your value. Stay firm and you will have this shift.
- You give too much. Ahh…I am guilty of this one too. We want to help but not in a way that gives away our power. Check-in, are you giving because you feel like you have to in order to prove your value? Or is it because you are genuinely wanting to help and give a little extra? Just be careful because the ego can talk us into this being a “good deed” but can still be a disguise for not feeling good enough deep down. One is about lack and the other about extending generosity.
- You betray yourself and the boundaries you’ve set. You know you need to set boundaries and have even mapped them out, but then go back on your word to yourself. This causes resentment and burn out AND strengthens feelings of “not good enough” because now you haven’t honoured your commitments to yourself.
- You seek reassurance from others instead of tuning in. There is a fine line between getting “reassurance” and getting an “objective” opinion. The former being about second guessing yourself and looking for reassurance to value yourself and your ideas. The latter being about brainstorming and gathering information, while staying neutral and grounded in your self-worth.
Ahh okay…what to do to shift it?
Having the awareness on how it shows up might be enough. Start catching it and noticing it, and then make a different conscious choice instead.
Try saying, if I was valuing myself and my worth, what would I do here instead?
Start “acting as if” you do until you just do ❤️
Do some deeper work and check-in on why you are good enough as you are, regardless of external accomplishments and achievements.
Affirm your worth daily, and again make decisions from this place.
Wishing you a beautiful weekend,
Chris xoxo
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles was posted Thursday. We add a little humour and discuss how this is a complete state-changer & ego-squasher!!
That time I was scared on social media…
Okay who doesn’t get nervous putting themselves out on social media, right?!
I’ve been speaking and doing live trainings for years both on and offline, and I STILL get nervous!
I think getting a little nervous is good though. It means we care about doing a good job. One of mentors used to say, “when you get nervous think of service”, and that has stayed with me ?
BUT… there can be an entirely different type of nervousness…
FEAR.
It’s that part that we need to send a little extra TLC to and move through…
I call this “getting in your head”.
When you start worrying. Worrying about what other people are thinking about you, which then causes you to doubt what the heck you’re even talking about.
For me this tends to pop up when I’m in front of people outside of my entrepreneurial community.
I create some story that tells me so and so thinks this about me and blah, blah, blah. It has 100% stopped me in the past.
This my friends is the ego. The part that wants us to judge ourselves and others. That wants to tell us we’re never good enough and asks who am I to do ______.
I can now recognize when it starts to pop up and I consciously choose not to not listen, make myself do it anyway, and then I’m reminded why I’m doing it to begin with and that it’s all about helping other people.
Love will trump fear every time.
But it can still creep in and we just have to be aware of the ego’s ludicrousness. Because here’s the thing, it wants us to get derailed and go down a doubt spiral. This is super prevalent when we’re in business for ourselves because growing a business means putting ourselves out there.
So a little while ago I was doing a live on Instagram, and I saw a friend from high school pop up as a viewer. I immediately got nervous and forgot what I was talking about. Thankfully I have practice in this (it’s all it takes), and I was able to shift gears and get back on track quickly.
BUT… I kept thinking OMG what is HE thinking about this?? He doesn’t know what I do and is he going to think I’m crazy?
LOL.
This happens to ALL of us.
And the funny thing about all of this is that the “story” I made up in my head wasn’t even true.
He reached out later and because of what I shared asked if me and my family wanted to be on a t.v. show ?
THE EGO LIES!!!!!!
Do not believe it’s B.S.
How can we possibly know what someone else is thinking?
And when we’re coming from fear (ego), we’re never going to see it clearly anyway.
When we’re connected to something bigger than us we can at least see the truth in situations.
So my friend, what story is the ego having you believe that is causing you to make a limiting choice?
See it for what it is… just a story… and make yourself take action anyway…
Much Love,
~ Chris xox
P.S. Our latest podcast on all things A Course in Miracles dropped this week… if you’re wanting to take a deeper dive into all things ego and how it loves to sink its teeth into problems, no matter the size, then tune in this weekend for sure ?
P.P.S. I’m back to connecting with you on Saturdays! I have been sending my notes out for YEARS on Saturdays and changed it up after thinking I try myself not to look at email over the weekends… BUT I do read and listen to things that are inspiring to me, and I hope these notes are a source of that for you. Many of you have told me you look forward to reading these on Saturday mornings. And so I hear you ❤️
What’s on your bucket list??
I wanted to make sure to still send you a little inspiration this week after a full week of connecting around my new course!
It was an amazing 10-days of live trainings, answering questions, and putting the final touches on my course. And I do have to say my most favourite part of this process and what I am bringing into this year with me is CONNECTION.
I absolutely loved connecting with new and familiar faces ? It’s connecting with others that truly lights me up, and I am finding new ways to do this online. Social media used to be a chore for me if I’m being honest – a should. I am now truly loving it and the opportunity to develop deeper connections with people all around the world. Last week I was chatting with someone in Ireland! How fun!
It wasn’t until I started writing this note to you that I realized CONNECTION will be my word for this year. I love choosing a word that represents what I want to strengthen. Past words have included saying YES to life’s opportunities, having more FUN, giving and receiving more LOVE, SURRENDER and letting go, and last year being PROGRESS. Making progress in all areas of my life, and I’m happy to say I did just that.
The issue with New Year’s resolutions is that many people put too much pressure on themselves to FIX something. But you’re not broken. You are loved, lovable and ENOUGH just as you are.
To me it’s more about creating more of how we want to FEEL so that we can be truly living a life we love. We don’t have to wait for external things around us to come to fruition to feel that way.
It’s definitely okay to set goals because they drive us forward and help us grow into who we need to become in order to achieve our bigger dreams.
But at the same time check-in on those goals. What is the feeling they will ultimately create for you? And then look at what you can do now to generate that feeling every day…or maybe it’s more around something you need to let go of in order to feel more_____.
We don’t have to wait to feel those feelings, we can do it NOW. And feeling them now will actually lead to what we’re wanting to create faster.
Also, check in on what you’re wanting to create from the place of intention. Are your intentions about expansion and creating joyful experiences or are they around shoulds? We want to ditch those, although some goals might feel like a should at first – like working out – but they lead to more happiness ultimately because we have more energy to do what we’re wanting. On that note I would truly find workouts that you love and ditch the shoulds there too!
So, what is on your bucket list this year and why?
We had the opportunity to go “desert” camping before Christmas – I didn’t even now it was a thing! It was to go dirt biking and ride in a side-by-side ride (like a big race cart for the sand!). My son Jude had been begging us to try dirt biking, so when this came up he said, “please can we go, it’s on my bucket list”!!
LOL at 14 he has a bucket list and I of course LOVE that!! He also knows there’s no way I’ll say no to a good bucket list item ?
So here he is!!!
And I have to say, we had the BEST time. The desert was beautiful – just 2 hours from San Diego – and it’s all wide open sand and mountains AND there was no one in sight! My daughter and I arrived later, and as we pulled up we were greeted by the guys in the side-by-side. They needed to take us to the camping spot because there was no way you would find your way to it – it was literally in the middle of nowhere! So the guys hopped out, and us gals enjoyed a ride into the sandy hills as the sun was setting. It was spectacular!!
Often when we say yes to our dreams, it creates the most amazing opportunities for other people too! Thank-you to Jude and our friends for this one ❤️
So do a little investigating into your own dreams and goals, and then take some time to write them out. I love to look back as if we’re a year out, and write then down as though they’ve already happened with most importantly how I FEEL by the end of the year and the shifts I had in the process to get there. From there, include 1-2 goals you’re working on in your gratitude practice every day as if you’ve already achieved them and are grateful.
The subconscious doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality so you may as well get into that vibe now!! Like attracts like.
Happy creating in 2021!
Chris, xo